Sunday 12 October 2014

ON MISSING HOME.


So, living away from home for the first time is a pretty strange feeling. Having spent the whole of the last month away from my own proper spring-filled bed and away from a pristine, pizza-box-and-alcohol-bottle-free kitchen, I actually don't feel quite as homesick anymore. I've got used to living without my brother and my parents, and providing for myself. I brought a couple of my favourite teddies, my guitar, as well as my extensive wardrobe and nail polish collection(!) so my new room definitely feels like a space that I feel comfortable and 'at home' in. The first few days, and weeks to be honest, were pretty scary and daunting and felt like they were going so slowly. Thoughts flew through my head like "How am I possibly going to be able to stay at university for the next three years?" "I feel completely out of my depth, I'm in totally new surroundings and there are so many new people around that all seem to be friends with each other already!" "I feel so lost." I decided to just give it time, and see how everything panned out. My course started after Freshers' Week and that gave me a terrifying but also really exciting thing to focus on. It's so important that I keep up-to-date with the work for my course, otherwise I will really start to fall behind. By really getting stuck into my studies, I discovered like-minded people on my course and over the past couple of weeks I've really started to form some great friendships with them. Making the effort to spend time with these people has definitely paid off, as we already have some great days and nights to look back on.

I've realised that people are so important to our existence, if that makes sense?! I completely identify as an introvert - I have to give myself some time to just be alone in my room if I've spent a lot of the day being around other people. It's how I personally find it best to recharge my batteries. But I've found that it's just as important to be around people, to just bounce ideas off of someone and get their perspective on something. For me, being around new but like-minded people that I am now tentatively inclined to call my friends (yippee!) has definitely helped to kind of suppress the homesickness that I initially felt upon leaving my family home. It doesn't mean I no longer miss being at home in my old room and sleeping in my old bed and spending time with my family, of course I miss those things - it's just a lot more bearable to have 'people' around in this new space away from such familiarity.

Speaking of my family, my parents came to visit me at university a week ago, and I was really looking forward to seeing them. My brother is in his third year of uni, so over the past two years I've paid him a few visits, and now here I was last Saturday on the receiving end of such a visit. It was pretty awesome because I only had to get up half an hour before my parents arrived! They'd had to get up three hours before, in order to travel the 160-ish miles to get here, so it was a nice change for me! Basically as soon as I saw them, I kind of felt like I was home - I was with my parents, who I'd depended on for 18 years, and who'd raised me to the point where I am (hopefully) an independent and self-sufficient human being, and it was just a bizarre feeling seeing them here, at my new residence. We weren't at the house I grew up in, or even in the part of the country I know so well - we were in the middle of a major city I only just moved to, but in that moment I felt 'at home' because they were here with me. We spent the day catching up, strolling around the city and just being together. The feeling I experienced when my parents left at the end of the day was a sort of emptiness, because I knew I wouldn't be seeing them for another month or so. I realised that I don't think 'home' can ever really be a specific location. It's more to do with the people you surround yourself with, and the memories that you make or have made with these people. So, yes, I did cry a little bit when my parents left my room and closed my door behind them, but as you carry on with your studies, and get stuck into your new life, you kind of forget about missing 'home' so much. Time is a great healer of pain, and I found that this especially applies to homesickness. I can say that honestly from personal experience.

So, to summarise this post, living away from home for the first time may feel so incredibly overwhelming and almost unbearable to start with. Just give it time. Immerse yourself into your work and/or studies, explore the culture of your new town/city, and really try to form or develop relationships with people. In doing these things, you will feel focused and hopefully so much more content in your new surroundings.


Follow on Bloglovin

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...